When we do so, our child can heal from difficult experiences and grow in confidence. Instead of the short goodbye approach, we can try the complete opposite and try a long goodbye which Patty Wipfler talks about in this article here, We can listen to their upset, staying with them as they cry, and express how hard it is for us to go. There is a different way of handling goodbyes. In those moments even if we tell our child that we'll be back later, they may be too upset to process the words we are saying. Memories, experiences and upsets can cloud a child's thinking, so they don't feel safe to leave us. In terms of the brain science our child's limbic system senses an emotional emergency, so the pre-frontal cortex- the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking, and language can't function well. It could be from early experiences such as a difficult birth, separation from us for medical treatment, or just the everyday separation anxiety that all children go through. It's not the separation per se that is the problem, but just that this moment stirs up memories of times when they felt scared or upset. It is often more likely that separating from us triggers deeper fears, and emotions in our child, that they need us to listen to. It's quite natural for children to have multiple attachments to other adults and benefit from being raised by a ‘village.' When our child gets upset about us leaving, it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't like their caregiver or that the need to be with us 24-7. Our child may continue to cry every time we leave, and we may be filled with guilt about leaving. However we may be worried that our child wasn't happy being left and that we are spending too much time away from them. Later we may be reassured by their caregiver that they stopped crying as soon as we left and were fine. When it's time to say goodbye to our child we may often hear the advice that it's best to rush off even if they're crying.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |